Friday, December 31, 2010


1/1/11 , 2.24am

3...2...1... Happy New Year .. ...

Id tried to laugh, but my laugh was so fake, Id tried to talk, but I was out of topic..
I was quiet, but I just didnt know why .. I didnt felt like partying, or drinking...

I reached home...n I cried...again, I didnt know what was the reason...
 I guess it was a release for me..All these while Ive been fighting with my every fear , though I was losing balance but I caught myself..and no, Ive been telling ppl that I dont need the help.. Cos I know Im not gonna make it till I face it alone ..

Yes Id cried again, so what if I cried? Im still gonna say "Im alright" , and continue moving forward. I dont wanna breakdown, I wont let myself to fall...There's no one to catch me, I'll have to spread my wings and try harder.. I'll run harder to find a shelter from the rain, I be a healer for my pain..
This is a crazy world, it can be lonely at times, but who can I really trust, who can make me feel less alone, I dont dare to think bout it again... I dont wanna have to hold someone's hand, I just wanna be the girl I used to be when I was me and worry free.

But I still believe, maybe there's reason why all the doors are closed, like katty perry's fireworks lyrics, " So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road".... I'll just have to keep on running, running and running. Its always been my hardest part, but Im gonna stay in control, I admit that this is getting hard, but Im gonna get there by my own..

I'll smile, again, when you see me... whoever you are

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Sorry eeee ~~

"Why didnt you pick up calls?", fren

"Sorry I was in the middle of class " , me

" OK, what are you doin tonight? free for a drink?", fren

" Sorry >< having extra practice tonight in cheras.." , me

"Ooo... How bout tomorrow then? just a quick one .. ", fren

" hmmm...sorry i guess not, gonna have meeting tomorrow night after class...." ,me

" I see, wow u're so bout thurs?", fren

" errr..actually thurs night having another extra practice before friday night's final rehearsal..and I bet saturday have to be in band for whole day as well..then sunday perform..." ,me

" OMG , you're crazy...ok how bout 7th of dec? its a PUBLIC HOLIDAY~~" , fren

" Wait..7th...sound so familiar.....wait i check my calender awhile.........AHHH so sorry, that day we gonna have combine section with klang members...another extra practice on holiday ", me

"........................ -.-'' " , fren

Lol , I am so sorry my friends, brothers and sisters ... I seriously felt bad when I had to reject you guys ><... But I find this conversation (last nite on the phone) quite funny.. My friend (driver for the day) was literally laughing when he heard our conversation.. Man I was sooo damn pack, didnt even have time to yamcha ..specially with my assignments as well.. Im so sorry, especially T, I, K, M, J, G, H, Kv, L, WK.....sometimes Lc, Yw, Mt, Ss, C.....

I have school works to catch up, but definately, I'll try my best to catch up with u guys soon when Im free...Thx for all the concerns, I'm doing fine, although bz, tired n nt enough sleeps, Im doing good, and will be better ...  Im striving harder now becos Ive realised that Im not giving my best yet.. So gambate too ppl ! Cos Im not gonna give up  :) .....  Luv u guys always! ^^