Friday, December 31, 2010

1/1/11

1/1/11 , 2.24am


3...2...1... Happy New Year .. ...



Id tried to laugh, but my laugh was so fake, Id tried to talk, but I was out of topic..
I was quiet, but I just didnt know why .. I didnt felt like partying, or drinking...

I reached home...n I cried...again, I didnt know what was the reason...
 I guess it was a release for me..All these while Ive been fighting with my every fear , though I was losing balance but I caught myself..and no, Ive been telling ppl that I dont need the help.. Cos I know Im not gonna make it till I face it alone ..

Yes Id cried again, so what if I cried? Im still gonna say "Im alright" , and continue moving forward. I dont wanna breakdown, I wont let myself to fall...There's no one to catch me, I'll have to spread my wings and try harder.. I'll run harder to find a shelter from the rain, I be a healer for my pain..
This is a crazy world, it can be lonely at times, but who can I really trust, who can make me feel less alone, I dont dare to think bout it again... I dont wanna have to hold someone's hand, I just wanna be the girl I used to be when I was me and worry free.

But I still believe, maybe there's reason why all the doors are closed, like katty perry's fireworks lyrics, " So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road".... I'll just have to keep on running, running and running. Its always been my hardest part, but Im gonna stay in control, I admit that this is getting hard, but Im gonna get there by my own..

I'll smile, again, when you see me... whoever you are

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